A CYBER I LOVE YOU TO THE ONLY ONE I LOVE, MY BEST FRIEND

10/7/2008 7:54:38 PM

Ann, this is a love letter and it is on my mind. We have spent our entire life together. To me and in my eyes, I have never laid eyes on such a beautiful woman and with such a brilliant mind. Over the years, I have given you the gift of my scientific mind and you have not once treaded on that fragile build, always giving back and giving more. I never asked or never cajoled any expectation from you because I felt you were my best friend and had your own life. We were connected and on the most intimate levels but I still saw you as a best friend and what we were doing was so much more than the fact we were in love. Maybe I had been wrong but I wanted to marry before putting down any of my thoughts. As my best friend, I nearly wept to you about how difficult and desperate I had felt with all the problems of being attacked. Most especially was our financial situation and I remembered you constantly telling me how rich you were and how much money you had. In turn, I would ask you to simply wait for me and how I would out due you one day… one day.

I no longer want to out due you; I just want to surrender to you and our best friends’ relationship. We had financial problems and now it feels like a tremendous burden has been lifted and my dreams of marrying are coming true even while we are being attacked and prisoners. I was so happy with my best friend before. It was like a real best friend who always understood and who always would play with you. You spent day and night with me and never turned me away. Now I find out I am married to my best friend and only friend because she does not and will not let go of our love regardless of how dangerous this world becomes for her. I can live with my own dangers; I cannot force you to choose that for your life while I enjoy myself so much with you, my best friend and only friend in this world. That sums it up, if you get teary eyed then that is how it will be. I used to chide you about beating you in the end and now I am not sure if I did or not, it doesn’t feel like it.

We had a lot of financial problems and I had given up and lost faith. I did give up on you and I felt I was a failure because I could not defend you. There is too much danger and I did not want you exposed to this as I had told you over and over. Now our life and our family have been struck with personal tragedy and maybe more to come. It has caused me to explore my deepest emotions and I am sure you have also explored your deepest feelings even if you deny it as just being a good spouse. I celebrate our journey in life but despise the world we live in for this tragedy and burden it has beset on us. You have no idea how happy I truly am. You have no idea how proud I am of you and what you have done. You have no idea how monumental it makes me feel to be with you finally and be able to stand proud and to reclaim our life, one stolen from us by terrorists.

Maybe our love with teach others the importance of love and family. To be touched by it and enriched living in it also. Maybe it will encourage people to appreciate their spouses and to treat them well and with the dignity they deserve and expect. Maybe it will make them feel the hardships and the journey of being man and woman, to dream together and to live one life worth telling and to be truly blessed by both pain and happy in this theater of the absurd and seemingly pain.

Most of all, you have no idea how much I love you Ann and how you have not only become my best and only friend, but the person who wakes up in my bed and smiles back as much or harder than me. This is my best friend who is not really my best friend but much more. That is priceless and worth the price of admission no matter how much more we must suffer for being put in a world where the devil finds their spirit drowning in their own blood. I am and still that man you began life with Ann, I still am just as you are still also in our bliss together.

Alex