ABOUT ANN COULTERS SINGLE LIFE AND EXTREMELY EXCITING LOVE LIFE

8/28/2008 1:23:56 PM

Ann,

If you Google “Ann Coulter” and “weekend” you get like 100s of articles about why you love this single life so much. I think you do not want marriage or want to be single your entire life because you are totally addicted and cannot let go of me. See, just like my first fiancé and the hysterical crying or hyperventilation, my god… what the hell do you say? Your weekend soirees and vacation trips are just outrageous and the parties of you in the bikinis are kind of hot. However, I honestly think every man you dated wants to have sex with you. Now answer this honesty, how did you pick up so many deranged and sadistic stalkers and why are they blocking us or our attempts to email or have a blast. Is it my bad boy or rock star image? My hair is long (half way down my back at times) and always been a signature of my heavy metal days. Why do you have to make fun of my hair and how long it is? Why do you have to pick on me and make me jealous? You drive me crazy and have this power over me okay but you just love that single life way too much and the Google search of your weekends is so blatantly obvious.

Just so you know, Lori has a brother named Ken who looks like a model. I used to call them Ken and Barbie for how they look. Your talking doll is a trip but is that another stunt? Why are you doing this and why do you love your single life so much that I have to figure out a way to end this? Also, why are your stalkers (ask Rush) not allowing me to talk to you or be with you? We are closer than man and wife and they need to understand that when you are closer than man and wife, what that means. I do not get jealous and if it is not working out then I will get sick of it easily. But you have some stalker who but a complete block on your entire life and love life and only giving you one option, them. How do you expect me to deal with this? When are you going to give up this single life and Great Gatsby socialite life you have and settle down with me? Typical girl and just giggly buffoon hairy dodos. So they want you and you to only talk to them (conservative fans and deranged love stalkers who are rich and powerful) and they want me to leave you alone and not talk to you while you have this power over me and hate me (with a knife like slash) that I was with Lori who is some quiet party girl at the beach but does not know a thing or have a clue, hey give bartenders a break, but thinks I am rich and powerful. So is this why they are stalking me, they think I am sitting on a fortune or are hiding a fortune?

Weird girl, so do you have any training to be my wife and to go into battle with me even if it is suicide? What if we have to shoot it out and have to go down in a blaze of glory? Ann, I am a real commando raised by US infantry Generals; do you think they tickle my ass with a feather? I think you are more insane then I am but do you really want to run with the bulls and piss your life away with me while your stalkers are serenading you with some 1950s karaoke machine? Give me a fucking break I will puke, I am armed to the teeth and I am watching the theatre of the spinach liquid diet. Make up your mind if you coming with me and my men into battle and World War III; if no then say so, if yes then stop being my partner and decide if you want to marry because I cannot stand this single life you love and all the women I sleep with who are as dumb as they get. Do you want to know the worst part? You have some power over me and I am actually jealous, imagine that, you bother me and am jealous and we are closer than man and wife. Wow, use your imagination on that one.

I googled “weekend” and your name and billions and billions of articles came up. If you want to come with, then I have to get you in shape, teach you hand to hand, and give you a commando course alright. You got a lot of heart as my partner though and for someone who I do actually love 19 times more than when I met her, I am really confused. Why do you love this single life so much? You want some action or not? You are messing with some real devilish saints and your pristine image is going to take a major hit with coup-mandoes and rock stars. You have to decide if your angelic smile wants to hold my hands in hell and shoot it out with us in this blaze of glory close to World War III. I do not think you know what it is like when the world is on your ass and wants it. Also, in shootouts, makeup does not work.

What is the malfunction Ann and why are you holding secrets with me or keep stalling or not wanting to end this? Your stalkers told me you were taken and married so I said… yeah! She finally got raped and ravished by some sadistic freak that has been stalking her and will not let her talk to any man. Oh wait, is that me and what I am saying about how you love that single life way too much? Just give up… they want to pay a lot of money to have a piece of that bony butt they make fun of and abuse. You ought to hear what they are telling me and how unfit I am and I agree, I am totally unfit to be with you. Do you agree with me or this and do you agree with what they did to you and to me?

Then why are you fighting it and just not marry me or find me finally after 20 years? Why do you keep waiting and sit there while we are being attacked and kept in some dungeon while behind enemy lines? Now they say they own World War III, do not have any commando status, more brave and strong then you, have a ticket on a nuke sub, and pity my measly life. Have they even kissed you? Do they know we are closer than man and wife? Why are they putting so much pressure on me and making me so angry with you? I want to scream at you and this single life you have while not letting go of me! Let go… we are going into battle and have World War III looming, you knew this 20 years ago and in 1998. You are scared and cannot even fight these lard tard loonies who want to tickle your ass with a feather like I do. (oooH that feels so good baby)… tell your stalkers if they want to come with us to World War III or not or whether you are riding shotgun Ann. This is crazy… on your stalkers “poop-poo” they must be going with us to the shoot out and World War III.

You got to make up your mind and quick okay, I am not waiting any longer or cannot afford to keep playing these hurtful games which make me jealous or dislike you more. Just let go if you do not want marriage, you cannot be my mistress and that option is not available, only marriage and family with 200% effort and commitment. Take it or leave it you sex kitten.

Cyber Warfare HQ