BIOGRAPHY-EULOGY: I DO NOT LIKE DOING THIS EVERYDAY FOR 20 YEARS AND HEARING YOUR ATTITUDE AND YOU TALKING IGNORING ME FOR SOMEONE ELSE (INADEQUATE)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 Is it you or the media? Do you lie for self defense and the danger you are in? You can deceive and trick the world but never trick who you love or betray them. You ought to know this. Even if you slander or destroy yourself; do not hurt who you love and care most about. Being in danger is a good excuse to lie. Tricking the devil is excusable. Using your anger on enemies of the state is reasonable. Never betray love and never betray your best friend or else you will loose it and them; or should I say him. You say it is them. They say it is you. I say it is them. They say it is you and me. Yes they are utter liars. So is it the media or is it you? Or is it how much danger you and I are in and you have to do this temporarily until things clear up? You tell me they tried to rape you or are too timid to ask, they tell me you are a man or gay, I call you chicken shit and live in a fast fantasy world; and you respond with how you will clean it up while I get angry with you. Path of least resistance are we? You can’t even have a chaperoned or a bodyguard without some smear. You refused to quit while ahead and look at the brick wall you hit?

Annie you are going to burn in hell for this and I know it. You yourself are near a nervous breakdown and said you were going to get sedatives for the pain and stress you said I was putting on you. You gave me bits and pieces, rhetorical, and had me write a nice story. You made clear on the main points but no sex was not an excuse for fantasy love triangles, affairs with married men; what kind of insane and crazy show to gain or use your female privileges and persuasions. Now I tell you to tell the truth and you write a totally false story about you and some married guy and then worship him when he is dead. None of it can be fact checked now that he is dead. So while I worried like hell and was fixing your life, you blew it to hell and start video taping some private party and LA trip with corrupt or people I do not know or like. Your damn life collapsed on me while I cleaned it up. Whatever you did it is not working with me, you or it is inadequate.

Now if you kick over, your memory and biography will be worse than it was before. You god damn people are pathological liars and thieves. You think I am so in love and will never leave and how irresistible you are while you piss our relationship away. Now I tell you to sit at home and lock the door, stop going to bars or dinner, stop worrying about liberals you date or live with eulogies; and write yours. While you write a wonderful one for them and they make you a throw away or the worst person in history; your biography and life is as worse as can be. So now you have got me to lie for you and defend you while you write worse and worse reports to spite me or make me angrier while asking if you did something to piss me off or how "I have nothing to be jealous about." There is a limit Annie and there is a clear indication and clear idea that a human being is. If you want that as our legacy, then do it; but you have to ask and be honest with yourself beyond all else when you ask, "If I was him, would he stay with me or will he respect me as his best friend and life partner, why or why not?"

You are bright enough to figure this out, I think, and you know you did not negotiate in good faith or dragged your feet as usual to act in this lazy manner because you exploit this idea of honor and being hated. So you hate me and I hate you and you got a Congressional Medal of Honor for how courageous you are. You want to go down in history broken, a lie, humiliated, and some cock-tail toy that could not get anything right; then do so but stop printing false and bad reports about you which are unverifiable and have not been and expect me to like it. All I am saying is stop going to bars, stop having dinner with men, stop telling me how you love me and are my love slave, and open your god damn eyes and think. You did that to impress me or make me pissed off forever with you? Stop writing false or bad reports about you and write something truthful, you can keep this up till you die for all I care but stop telling me how "I thought we had bonded" and sniffle. Obviously you screwed up and your enemies are not convinced you are all that or will save your name. You screwed up with me, what else is your goal in life? What else can you screw up? So you feel great about yourself or has the blamed turned to shame yet? Are you crazy and have you lost your mind; or just in danger as we were?

So we are history? You are America? Do we hate America? Do we hate New York? Do we hate conservatives? Are you helping and aiding terrorists? Are you side by side with Rush, Sean, Levin, and the rat gang of weasels trying to make us hate you? Am I happy with your religious or theology lesson where I hate myself and you or religion because you lost your mind and filled with blind rage by liberals and enemies? I told you to stop and take a break; fix our life and shore up the big gap between us. Now it is huge and your name is about to be lost forever. There is nobody else who can save you or tell the story, is this what you want and ask from me? Don't make this harder then it has to be okay. Maybe you tried too hard to impress me. Maybe it was about trust. Maybe it was about independence and freedom. Maybe it is about love. Can you feel the love and your work? Is it the work of a genius and perfectionist or just someone everybody hates?